Where, Oh Where?

Listen First

The night that we met, you said it was true love
Said no one on earth could love me like you.
And little did I know you meant ev’ry last word
But who could have guessed you were talking to you?

You took me out fishing one evening last summer
Said we’d eat what we caught, that we couldn’t lose.
I played the good sport, and sat for eight hours
But it just ain’t the same eating stanky old shoes.

Your hair is as brown as the trees in November
Your eyes are as blue as the lake west of town
That stare is as cold as the depths of December
‘Tween you and the lake I think I’d rather drown.

I look in your eyes and I see confusion
I look in your ears and I see lots of hair
And now that I’m actually paying attention
I’m just about certain that you aren’t my Claire.

Where, oh where, are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I searched the world over and thought I found true love,
You met another
and PTHHBTHT
You were gone.

Of Pirates and Blurred Borders

Have you ever thought about how improbable the global system of air travel is?

Nearly every country on the planet allows fully loaded jets to enter its airspace multiple times a day, and–even more improbably– land before checking the passengers (I don’t know what the alternative would be), trusting the previous country’s TSA to have done the job.   And some of these transfers involve countries who wouldn’t hesitate to stab each other given the chance.

It just strikes me that any country with the desire to do so could stuff a nuclear weapon in the cargo hold of an international flight and set it off upon landing.  Sure, there have been stories (and movies) where said weapon is sent in by container ship (probably easier) but air travel opens up a great multitude of non-coastal/non-port locations.  And finger pointing would be difficult, though I think it’s possible to fingerprint the country of origin by sampling the fallout.  (The whole reason I’m speculating here is because I’m not in the mood to start googling things like “is it possible to trace nuclear weapons” or “what’s stopping governments from sticking nukes on planes.”)

By the way, if you’re paranoid, don’t read the previous three paragraphs.  If you aren’t, carry on.

In other alternate universes, can you imagine if yesterday’s pirates operated on the same principles today’s do?  Near as I can tell, there would be a giant island outside territorial waters filled with gold, food, rum, silver, and what-have-you, where ships would pull in, fill up on all of it, and leave.  The island’s stockpile would remain completely unchanged.

Mind you, if today’s pirates operated on the same principles as yesterday’s, Disney would be forced to spend part of its operating budget combating raiding parties, Paramount would be resting on the bottom of the sea, and Shawn Fanning would be imprisoned, having murdered a great number of musicians.

Top 10 Post-Apocalyptic Breakup Songs

####_placeholder_text

####_placeholder_text

####_placeholder_text

####_placeholder_text

####_placeholder_text

####_placeholder_text

####_placeholder_text

####_placeholder_text

####_placeholder_text

####_placeholder_text